The mistake is buying one set and expecting it to cover everything, the weeknight dinners, the holiday table, the kid's lunch tray. A single stack of good linen napkins is going to look wrong at breakfast and a little precious on a Tuesday. You need at least two tiers, something sturdy for daily use and something nicer for the table you actually set.
In an ordinary room, cloth napkins do more for the look of a table than the dishes do. A plain cotton or linen napkin folded next to a weeknight plate makes even a sheet pan dinner feel like you tried, and they sit well against almost anything, mismatched plates, a scratched up table, glasses that don't match. In the evening, with the light low and warm, a stack of white or oatmeal napkins on an old table looks better than it has any right to. In the morning, under harsher light, you notice every stain and every iron mark, so this is where the honest limits come in.
Paper has its place and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. Anything greasy, anything with small kids involved, anything happening outside near a grill, paper napkins are the right call and cloth is just extra laundry you didn't need. Cloth also loses in a highly patterned kitchen or a very casual, lived in space where fussing over fabric reads as trying too hard. Know which dinner you're hosting before you decide which napkin drawer to open.
Good cotton and linen napkins age well if you treat them like clothes rather than décor. Wash them with your regular laundry, skip the fabric softener because it dulls absorbency over time, and don't bother ironing every single one, a few creases from the dryer are fine for a normal dinner. Linen in particular gets softer and a little more rumpled looking with every wash, which some people love and some people find looks permanently unmade. Stains from wine or tomato sauce need cold water and patience, not bleach, bleach just finishes the job the stain started.
When you're buying them in person or unpacking a delivery, check the hems first, a cheap napkin has a rolled edge that frays after a few washes, a decent one has a proper folded hem that stays put. Hold two side by side under the shop lighting, not just under your phone flashlight, because colors that look cream in a bright store can read yellow once they're home under a warmer bulb. Count what you actually received against what you ordered, because napkin sets are the one thing retailers seem to shortchange without anyone noticing for months.
Even the best set will eventually wear thin at the folds, usually right around the second year of regular washing, and no amount of careful laundering stops that completely.