For years I thought a headboard was just a backdrop, something you picked to match the comforter and forgot about. Then I leaned back one night with a book, cracked my skull on the wall behind me, and realized the wall had been doing nothing for me this whole time. A decent headboard isn't decoration, it's the thing between your head and the drywall, and once you've had one that actually supports you sitting up, you stop seeing it as an afterthought.
How it holds up depends entirely on what it's made of, and this is where people get burned. Upholstered ones in a linen or cotton blend look soft and inviting for about a year, then the fabric over the top edge starts to shine where heads and hands rub against it, especially if you sleep without a top sheet pulled high. A velvet one hides that wear much longer and reads a little richer besides, though it shows dust in a way linen doesn't, so it wants a vacuum brush attachment every few weeks, not a damp cloth. Wood headboards, solid oak or walnut rather than a veneer over particleboard, barely age at all if you keep them out of direct sun, though veneer will bubble and peel at the edges within a couple of years if it sits against a radiator or a sun drenched wall. Cane and rattan ones are lovely and light but the weave can loosen over time if you lean on them hard, so treat them more like furniture you admire than furniture you wrestle with.
Where it belongs depends on the room as much as the bed. A tall upholstered headboard makes a small bedroom feel more finished and gives a rented apartment some personality without touching the walls, since most attach straight to the bed frame. Wood suits a room that already has other wood tones going, warms up a cold, north facing bedroom nicely, and ages well in humid climates where fabric can hold moisture. Cane and rattan are at their best in a bright room with some greenery around, somewhere that already leans relaxed rather than formal.
Where it falls apart is pairing a heavily tufted or buttoned headboard with a room that's already busy, patterned wallpaper, a loud rug, a gallery wall right behind it. It just competes with itself. And a very tall, dramatic headboard in a low ceilinged room makes the whole wall feel like it's closing in rather than looking grand.
Next time you're looking at one, run your hand along the top edge first and check how the fabric or finish is joined there, since that's always where it wears out first.