Last month, I stood in my downstairs toilet holding what could politely be described as a boldly-patterned roll of wallpaper and wondered if I had lost my mind. For anyone who hasn’t found themselves in this particular situation, imagine holding something so dizzyingly geometric that you fear it might cause seizures and ask yourself if you would feel sane in that moment. Answer: no, I did not feel sane on Tuesday afternoon.
This happened because my downstairs toilet is really small. Like, legitimately, you can touch both walls when you sit on the toilet small. Sorry for mentioning my toilet size quite so explicitly but it really is important context for this story and also one of the smallest rooms in my house.
Downstairs toilets are often disgustingly cramped because housebuilders begrudgingly have to fit them. Inside visitors never see.
I bought into the myth that tiny rooms should have boring colours for YEARS.
Pale walls. White accessories. A mirror if you’re feeling particularly rebellious.
My mum is still fully subscribed to this idea – if I show her anything that’s not magnolia she lectures me about how it’ll make the room look smaller. “Really stresssssssss the lack of space” has become her catchcry whenever I show her something I’m working on. I don’t mean to harangue my mum – she had no benefit of the excellent mini bathroom revolutions taking place all over the internet when she was decorating. Believe me, I used to think the same way.
But once I started playing around with wallpapers for small bathrooms about two years ago I realised how tedious it was to look at plain walls all day. Every day. For as long as I live in my house.
First up, I chose a botanical wallpaper with teeny tiny leaves in a soft green and cream colour palette. I bought it from a budget off-cut warehouse that smelled of mildew and regret for £28 per roll. Holy heck did it change the room.
Suddenly I had something interesting to focus on other than my own washed out face staring back at me judgementally from the mirror (why do I look grim in toothpaste adverts? It’s not like I spend all that time in there considering the persuasive techniques used before deciding to go brush my teeth elsewhere). Bonus: foliage print in small scales also hides dirt incredibly well which is always a bonus for spaces that are harder to keep pristine.
Where I went wrong the first time was not appreciating the importance of scale in small spaces. Scale is EVERYTHING in a small bathroom, more so than most other rooms in the house. My wallpaper sins began with this beautiful purple damask print.
Bigger than a palace dining hall, this paper was a sweeping collection of outrageously large roses that belonged upholstered on a velvet settee circa 1830, not strewn all over my toilet where my elbows knock together when I brush my teeth. It felt like sleeping inside my nan’s attic insulation. Still lovely – just not soothing.
When your room is small, you need to keep your details small too. BUT – and this is another trick I didn’t appreciate when I was first wallpapering tiny rooms – it’s not just the scale of the individual details that matters, it’s also how busy the overall look is. Once I papered my whole bathroom in a geometric hexagon print that looked AMAZING as a sample.
Minimal. Modern. The scale was perfect.
But cover every visible surface in that pattern and oh boy do you realise how much those patterns are fighting with each other for your attention. It was like being trapped inside a distressed kaleidoscope. Then it clicked.
Wallpaper the whole room? No – hang nice papers on one wall only. It sounds counterintuitive but it WORKS.
Seriously. Pick the wall behind the toilet or sink (because obviously those surfaces need to be functional) and inject some pattern there. Everything else you keep simple.
Voila: interest added, without feeling overwhelmed. Win-win. And also cheaper because who wants to wallpaper an entire bathroom when they’re on a budget?
Don’t get me started on using light colours to make rooms look bigger. Obvs they do. But my point exactly – they do SUCH a good job at fooling the eye into thinking things are more spacious that you can pair really light backgrounds with busier patterns.
My favourite wallpaper hack at the moment is this grassy ivy print I’m absolutely OBSESSED with. In real life, it’s quite detailed if you look at it up close but because it’s painted grey on white it almost just LOOKS like texture rather than bold pattern. My non-negotiable?
Make sure you’re buying waterproof wallpaper. Trust me on this. I made the mistake once of buying non-waterproof grasscloth-effect paper and within six weeks it started flaking off the wall.
Showers = steam. Temperature fluctuations from opening and closing doors. Splashbacks when you’re brushing your teeth.
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Toilet roll mishaps. Bathroom wallpaper endures things. Get either vinyl backed paper or paper designed specifically for bathrooms.
Spend the extra fiver and you won’t have to redo it within a year. Here’s a secret: washability is also mega important. Loads of tiny detailed patterns look AMAZING in the shop.
Until you get home and can’t SEE the dirt building up. Trust me: if you can’t easily see when your wallpaper is dirty you will hate living with it. You think you’ll clean more often?
Nope. You’ll just end up grimy, mood-killing paper that you KNOW is dirty but cant quite see. Go for simpler patterns that you can easily see through and keep clean.
Those tiny dots I had in here? Hide stains like nobody’s business. The vertical stripes I swapped them out for?
They don’t stand half as much soap scum down. FYI vertical stripes DO make a low ceiling seem taller. Fight me.
Okay, don’t. I’ll just block you on twitter. But it works.
My bathroom has a ceiling that is probably 7ft 6 inches if we’re lucky. Added some skinny vertical stripes in a pale blue and it instantly made the room feel bigger and less claustrophobic. Vertical lines = way to go.
Horizontal lines = not so much. Edit: obviously this only applies to small or low ceilings. If you’re wanting to make a room seem HEIGHTY then go for horizontal lines!
Keep your stripes subtle though. Pastel tones are your friend here. Tone on tone rather than full-on block colours.
If you make your pattern too bold it’ll compete with your tiny ceiling instead of relaxing it. Don’t want to commit to wallpaper? Wall decals!
Go you. Were rent at the moment so removable wallpaper has been a GAME CHANGER for bringing some pattern into our house without starting. I did this cute little fern stick-on wallpaper for my friend Sarah’s rental bathroom and it looked high-end, only took an afternoon to put up, and came down completely clean when she left.
You lose a little bit of the luxe finish you get with actual wallpaper but hey – if you can test out living with a pattern without fully committing then that’s A-Okay with me! I think the most common mistake I see with bold patterns in tiny spaces is people going TOO big without thinking about the lifestyle. Sure, that hippo wallpaper might look cool on Instagram but are you REALLY going to feel relaxed bathing next to a herd of wild animals every day?
Think about how you live in your bathroom and choose patterns you can live with 24/7. Intriguing enough to stop you from getting bored but lowkey enough that you don’t hate yourself every time you splurge on a shower. Texture is another way to add interest without having to go bold on colour or pattern.
Last month I used this gorgeous linen textured paper that adds depth and interest to your walls without feeling overpowering. It’s priced similar to flat wallpaper but feels like a million bucks. Also think about other elements you can add to your small bathroom to take the focus off how cramped it is.
A good light is so important.
Seriously consider swapping out harsh white bulbs for something warmer. Another plant if you have natural light.
Even little touches like changing your cabinet knobs to some with more personality can lift the smallest of spaces. Here’s the thing about putting wallpaper in small bathrooms. It’s not really going to MAKE your room look bigger (sorry, I know that’s what you’re all here for).
But it can definitely MAKE your small room feel more YOU. Yes my downstairs toilet is still about the same size as a generous kitchen cupboard. But at least now when I’m standing on the toilet brushing my teeth I have something pretty to look at instead of the angry monster staring back at me from the medicine cabinet mirror.
Apologies if this has turned into a slightly euphoric love letter to my toilet but trust me: even if you have a really small bathroom you can make it work. I have literal metre-square toilet spaces in my house and I make it work. So can you.
I’ll see you on the other side.
